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thatsnotthinprivilege:

thisisthinprivilege:

I threw away my virginity to the first boy who showed any interest in me, to a boy who never wanted to know the real me. I never thought that someone would do that to me because I saw myself as undesirable. Why would a boy only want in my pants? I’m not physically attractive. If he likes me, he must really like me, for more than what I look like.

It’s been near 11 months since that night, and since he last spoke to me. 

And I don’t blame him. How could he want me? I’ve been haunted my whole life with “you’ll never catch a man by eating that.” “A boy will never like you, looking like that.” Hearing things like this your entire life from your mother and your sister takes a toll psychologically. I feel I am undeserving of love, romantic and platonic. I feel guilty for taking up space. I constantly apologize for things that don’t need an “I’m sorry.” I know how ridiculous and absurd my feelings are, nonetheless, I have these feelings and I have no idea how to stop. 

Thin privilege is being deserving of love, of physical intimacy, and of respect. 

This is nothing to do with thin privilege. This is everything to do with self esteem. You seeking validation from a boy who just wanted to get in your pants has nothing to do how fat you were. This is related to the fact that you didn’t think highly enough of yourself. There are plenty of fat women that are self confident and men really like that. You’re not realizing that many thin women are abandoned like you were by awful men like that. It has nothing to do with your fatness.

I’m thin and I’m extremely insecure and I feel a lot of the time that I’m not deserving of love or affection, based on past experiences. This is a cognitive distortion that needs to be fixed, like yours. It has nothing to do with either of our weights.

-mod D

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